Disrespect has become a common component of American culture these days. Behaviors such as defiance of authority and absolute disrespect are actually considered cool amongst the general public in many countries now. Nothing is sacred anymore and at times it seems that there is no reverence left in the world or at least none left in America for sure, this is truly sad to me. As a result it has become paramount that we have conversations about how to deal with disrespect effectively being that respect is such an important issue amongst real adults.
I myself was fortunately raised very old school and by that I mean that I value things like looking a man in the eyes and giving him a good shake upon introduction. I was raised to respect women for what they are and to respect men for whom they are as well. Basically the culture I come from being the Marine Corps or the way I was raised at home trained me in a paradigm that said, “treat absolutely everyone with respect because at any moment you must be willing to die for yours and therefore it is very important that you don’t give others any grounds to needlessly disrespect you. In this way when you have to die for your respect you can do it with a clear conscience no matter what happens.” This is the on written rule as to why I’m so respectful to everyone because it’s not about them but rather I treat everyone with respect based on who I am and how I would like to be perceived, treated and remembered.
Regardless and all too often other people are still disrespectful, either because they do not understand respect or because they do not care, both of which are now acceptable in our current popular American culture sadly. So what does one do in the face of disrespect?
First and foremost it is absolutely imperative that you do the most important thing one must do when dealing with any problem or hostility in my head that is simply to control what you can control. You must control your inner psychic world first so that you are not pulled down to the attackers level and so you do not make any decisions without first being in emotional homeostasis or balance.
Yes being disrespected is excruciatingly painful at times but what is even more painful is reacting in a way that dishonest yourself while being disrespected. In the moment you are disrespected it is an opportunity to show the other person why you are respectable, this is why your reaction is so paramount.
Never change your principles in these situations or lower your standards as to how you will accept people dealing with you but also be cognizant and aware of the fact that you truly cannot reason with ridiculous. Therefore you must deal with people effectively on their level. Unfortunately, all too often people lack of emotional intelligence and are not genuinely capable of having a respectable back-and-forth conversation about differences so it is 100% up to you as a more mature and conscious individual to set your boundaries and maintain/enforce them courteously and firmly.
In my opinion what must be done when you’re engaged in a disrespectful encounter with another human being is for you to control what you can control and end the conversation in a respectful, respectable manner while explaining to the person that the conversation in your opinion has gone beyond the bounds of the respectful interaction that you’d like to entertain. Said differently: simply let the other person know that you do not wish to continue talking because you are uninterested in engaging in communication that you don’t believe will be progressive and most importantly that you do not engage in anything that disrespects who you are and what you stand for. When you end the conversation there you are drawing a clear boundary respectfully, maintaining your honor and lovingly keeping yourself and the other person from engaging in something that will degrade both of you as well as your relationship.
If and when the person is able to speak more effectively with you in the future then continue the conversation with them less rewarding their good behavior. However if interactions sink back into dishonorable exchanges, promptly shut communication down respectfully once again until they clearly understand your boundaries no matter how big of a fit they throw. If you want to be respected you will need to be strong. Do this until the individual learns to respect your boundaries.
That’s my advice and I’ve enjoyed implementing it on many occasions.
