I’ve never really had much of a human support system. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. At first I always wanted one but in life, it seems you don’t always get what you want but you do usually have what you need. The tough part is that it’s usually hidden deep inside and requires a process to find and cultivate. In many ways you learn to make do with what you have or parish.
Most everyone I know depends on has either left, failed, betrayed me, or proven themselves incompetent. All things I have also done to others at some point. I understand it’s just part of the human condition we hopefully are striving to improve. Keeping this in mind you can love people in their humanity, for who they are rather than who you want to believe they are.
Nonetheless we must get where we need to go so no matter how hard it is we need to keep walking. Doing the best we can. Enduring the blows, failures, the inevitable broken insides, on our path because pain is providence if we know how to leverage it. It’s the opportunity to purge ourselves of impurities, of weakness, the illumination and exploitation of your imperfection is the path to our evolution. Problems, pressure and pain trigger your adaptation reflex. This life is not about your support structure although that can play a very important role. Nor is it about those you love and want to trust.
This life is about you. You and your ability to walk it out on God’s green earth, under God’s blue sky, amongst all of his imperfect children of which I am one and that is ok for now but not how I’m going to stay.
Do your best, search for help, but when you don’t find it, and God himself is quiet, know that it’s because this is your chance at kingship over your life. He has given you all the gifts already and so it’s time for you to walk it out. And that’s an honor because it’s how you grow stronger.
The master gave his servants talents and then he left them for a time in order to see what they would do with them. Matthew 25:14–30
PROTECTOR by nature and by trade